"The Vatican is this morning facing a further crisis after routine DNA tests revealed that the communion wafers used in Sunday mass contain 0% of the body and blood of Christ.

he news will concern billions of Catholic consumers, previously led to believe they were consuming Christ himself each Sunday morning during mass.

Catholic Simon Williams told us, "So what have I been eating all these years? It's not horse again is it?"

"It's always had a funny taste that I couldn't quite place. But having been a choir boy in the catholic church I grew up being told by priests that putting strange things in my mouth was the done thing."

"That said, with the amount of cash I'm encouraged to put in the collection plate on a Sunday morning I can't believe they're scrimping on the ingredients."

"You'll be telling me next that the stuff they dip the wafer in isn't actually blood."

A spokesperson for the Vatican explained that the DNA test results merely highlight the incompatibility of science and religion.

They told us, "Where is your faith that the wafer is the body of Christ? Science can't tell you everything, and just as it can't prove God doesn't exist, it can't prove the wafer ISN'T the body of Christ."

"Oh, it has done exactly that? Right. Well. There's probably something in the Bible about that. I'll have to go and look."

NewsThump

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"The truth is incontrovertible.
malice may attack it,
ignorance may deride it,
but in the end,
there it is." -Sir Winston Churchill

The article was a hoax. You realize that right?

Really?
A hoax?
and not just a Joke?
I thought it was funny.

-------------------------
"The truth is incontrovertible.
malice may attack it,
ignorance may deride it,
but in the end,
there it is." -Sir Winston Churchill

Edited: 11/21/2015 at 12:15 PM by WG

Yes it is a satire/hoax/joke. I did not think it was very funny. I would not post a link to a satirical article that spoke ill of siddhartha gautama or ganesh. Are you interested in the topic at all? If so I can explain how the absense of human DNA is entirely irrelevent to the question of whether or not Jesus Christ is present (under/in) the elements of bread and wine following transubstantiation. 

Edited: 11/21/2015 at 01:02 PM by Quicksilver13103

hold up.... did i hear correctly.....0 %???

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Water dissolving...and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean

I don't doubt that you could easily explain why there is no human DNA in a cracker.
So could I.

Yea, I've heard about "transubstantiation" too.
My father was a Catholic, I've been through that a little.

I think maybe you need to lighten up a little.

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"The truth is incontrovertible.
malice may attack it,
ignorance may deride it,
but in the end,
there it is." -Sir Winston Churchill

Says the guy who doubted the Anal Jihad...
LOL

How is doubting something the same as being offended?????

Along these same lines, some Muslims need to not kill anyone when someone creates a rendering of the prophet.  Maybe they should think about why Islam has that rule instead of blindly acting out.  BTW, G. Washington tried to establish the same precedent for the same reason.  We fucked that up George.  Sorry; you were a better man than almost all of us.

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Wiki wiki

Holy Cow!

Next you will be telling us that Girl Scout cookies aren't made of Girl Scouts!

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If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph: THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD WAS MUSIC - KV

Don't rag on the catholics since they merely copied it from the ancient egyptians, who ate Osirus (the sun God) back in the day. The people believed it then too since to not believe a priest was heresy. hmmm...sounds familiar.

Fortunately, for Christians the Bible speaks clearly and directly. Jesus died once...and is not re-sacrificed for our sins every mass as the rcs claims. This is one of many rcs practices designed to subtly mock Christ and ignore the Bible as a paen to ancient mystical practices to those who understand. There is a great deal of sun worship woven into catholic architecture, regalia, and ceremonies...and it ain't no accident.

Hebrews 9

24 For Christ is not entered into the holy places made with hands, which are the figures of the true; but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God for us:25 Nor yet that he should offer himself often, as the high priest entereth into the holy place every year with blood of others;26 For then must he often have suffered since the foundation of the world: but now once in the end of the world hath he appeared to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself.

Edited: 11/21/2015 at 07:10 PM by ummm

As I've learned a little more about who those brave freedom fighters we kickstarted in Afghanistan actually were, I doubt that less.

Quicksilver13103 - If I have really offended with this, I apologize.

-------------------------
"The truth is incontrovertible.
malice may attack it,
ignorance may deride it,
but in the end,
there it is." -Sir Winston Churchill

Edited: 11/21/2015 at 07:46 PM by WG

anyone looking for syriusness in nsr may wanna look again.

-------------------------
Water dissolving...and water removing
There is water at the bottom of the ocean

Ummm:

The RCC does NOT claim that Jesus is "re-sacrificed" at every mass. Once again you have a misunderstanding of what the RCC actual teaches. Please do some background research before you make such claims. 

While your entire post was a strawman fallacy you brought up some good points. In agreeance with you, and Hebrews 9, the RCC teaches that Christ's, one and only, sacrifice at calvary is entirely sufficient for the salvation of man.

The RCC also claims that it is by grace alone that we are saved. Once again you have a misunderstanding of what the RCC actual teaches.

Quick...I think you have a misunderstanding of what your church teaches. They do teach that Jesus comes into the wafer and is re-sacrificied each and every mass. Also, the sin of presumption in the rcc is the sin of believeing that his grace is sufficient to cover your sins. According to the rcc, keeping the sacraments(mass,communion, confessional, etc) are REQUIRED to be saved. 

 

I do hope that you understand personally that it is grace alone that saves you. That is my only goal bro. 

Jesus does come into the wafer as you said. That is correct. Re-sacrificied is NOT the same as re-presented. The RCC teaches that Jesus Christ, and His sacrifice at calvary, is made present, or re-presented considering calvary happened in the past, to believers during the Holy Mass. The reception of the Holy Eucharist is a participation in Christ's sacrifice at Calvary and a vehicle by which grace fills our soul.

Christ sacrifice at calvary is re-presented at every Mass. Christ is NOT re-sacrificed at any Mass or in any other event (Heb 9). So when you said that the RCC teaches that Jesus Christ is re-sacrificed at the Mass that was wrong.

I do not have a misunderstanding of what my/the Church teaches. I have thoroughly studied the Church and Her teachings. I have only a partial understanding of the Church that is correct, but not a misunderstanding.

The topic of this thread is the Holy Communion so I will stick to it but, once again, you have a faulty understanding of the Church and what She teaches about the sin of presumption. 

Why do so many put so much in tradition and rituals? You guys are missing the beauty of JESUS CHRIST.Ummm, you know where I stand and I know where you standWhat a relief of having that certainty knowing that it is ALL about JESUS. Price Paid in Full.....Nothing like being a FOOL for CHRIST.

On a side note I would like to invite you all to a open discussion in what you are thinking. I have a building we can use. Invite is open to all. It would be a good chance to leave the keyboard and comfort of your home, location Cocoa Beach.

"Therefore, brethren, stand fast; and hold the traditions which you have learned, whether by word, or by our epistle." (2 Thes 2:15 DR)

Sonfollower: 

I am in college, out of the area, but I will return to the 321 in December and I am down.

Ummm:

Did you read what I just wrote above? Any response or anything?

shame about the lack of DNA,

would make a "hell" of a paternity test

KIDDING GUYS!  ONLY KIDDING!!!!

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add a signature since I'm here in profile anyway

Quick - your religion is taken from babylonianism and I don't think you understand what it actually teaches. If you read the catechism and other rcc literature you will understand how heretical it's teachings and practices are. Jesus does not come into the wafer. He is in heaven, seated at the right hand of God the Father. It is a strange and manmade doctrine stolen from the egyptians. 

The traditions are those recieved form the apostles...men who knew Jesus Christ. It isn't talking about traditions made up by Constantine 300 plus years later. I only trust what the men who actually walked with Jesus said and did, otherwise anyone can make up anything and say it was from God. I encourage you as well to do as the Bereans did in Acts and test every single thing with the word of God...not out of context but as a whole. Get a KJV and read the New Testament slowly and deliberatel, starting in John and moving forward. That is the best way for you to know exactly what Jesus and the men who walked with him said, did and taught. Anything that does not clearly line up with that...I would discard.

I respect you greatly for being so open to what I am suggesting. 

ummmmm:

I am open to what you are saying I hope the same can be said for you. I first accepted Christ into my heart, and acknowledged His Kingship, only 3 years ago. I am try to seek the Truth and learn as much as possible. Do you own a Catechism because if not I would like to trade a KJV bible for a Catechism. I have a couple Catholic bibles but a KJV one would be great to have.

One more thing. Your claim that the RCC is a guise for ancient babylonianism is a rather bold one with profound implications. If true than it must follow that all Catholics who have died during the period (33 AD - 2015 AD) are burning in hell. Salvation is through Jesus Christ alone (John 14:6) and according to your theory of Catholicism = babylonianism we worhship idols and gods other than the true God. Even though I, and my fellow Catholic brothers and sisters in Christ, are seeking a personal relationship with the Saviour of the world, Jesus Christ, it is for naught because at the end of the day we are idol worshipers. I say this because I hope you inderstand the gravity of this claim!!

 

Edited: 11/23/2015 at 09:35 AM by Quicksilver13103